Chapter 651
Confession
"Don't say it."
Before he could speak, Guzheng immediately interrupted him and handed him the sweet potato she was holding.
"Try this, it's quite delicious."
The scalding hot potato skins rested in her palms, the golden flesh exposed, steam rising and blurring her expression. But if you looked closely, you could see she was still smiling.
Han Zhou was stunned for a moment. He wanted to ask why he wasn't allowed to talk about it, but Gu Zheng had already brought the sweet potato to his mouth, so he had no choice but to lower his head and take a bite.
The sweet, slightly burnt aroma of the warm liquid slid down my throat, hotter than I had imagined. I don't know how Guzheng managed to hold it so calmly.
"Is it tasty?"
She looked at the Christmas tree in the distance, then turned back and smiled.
"Ah."
Han Zhou swallowed the sweet potato, his throat dry. "But it's not as good as the one I roasted."
"So narcissistic."
Gu Zheng rolled her eyes. "Roasting sweet potatoes isn't like cooking. They all taste the same."
"Not necessarily."
Han Zhou took the sweet potato from her hand; it was indeed scalding hot. He said helplessly, "This sweet potato is so big, will you be able to eat dinner after you finish it?"
"That's why I'm giving it to you, because you can't finish it."
Gu Zheng clenched her fist tightly and said confidently, "You eat half, and I'll eat half."
Han Zhou paused for a moment, then smiled and said, "Okay."
Gu Zheng didn't say anything more, just watched him eat. The wind was still blowing, and the string of cheap colored lights swayed incessantly. The originally deserted street suddenly became crowded, and the people around them laughed and chatted as they passed by, discussing where to go at night.
"get out of class is over," she said softly.
Han Zhou was eating sweet potatoes with gusto when he heard this. He tried to speak, but could only utter mumbled syllables. His somewhat comical appearance immediately amused Gu Zheng, whose eyes curved into beautiful crescent moons, filled with shimmering light.
“Look,” she said, pointing to the huge Christmas tree, the lights flickering on her face. “This tree is really ugly, but the lights are quite pretty.”
Han Zhou followed her gaze and couldn't understand what was ugly about it. Don't all Christmas trees look like this?
Gu Zheng didn't explain, but simply suggested, "Let's take a group photo under the tree later."
"Do we have to film even if it's ugly?" Han Zhou asked vaguely.
"Yeah, we'll film it even if it's ugly."
"Wait for me to finish eating..."
"There won't be any seats left under the tree after we finish eating."
Without saying a word, Guzheng pulled him towards the Christmas tree.
After finally finishing half a sweet potato, Han Zhou felt his stomach was bloated. He turned to look at Gu Zheng's expectant eyes and had to swallow back what he wanted to say.
Gu Zheng took out her phone, held it in the air and adjusted the angle repeatedly. The light from the colored lights fell on her eyelashes, like a layer of fine gold dust. Han Zhou stood beside her, watching her tiptoe slightly, and subconsciously reached out to support her arm.
Have you been learning photography lately?
He saw that the guzheng had brought up the grid lines and was now slowly dragging the zoom bar, looking quite professional.
He knew that Gu Zheng's photography skills were the same as most boys'—she would just shoot whatever she saw without considering composition, and she knew nothing about photo editing. Of course, with her looks, she didn't need to edit photos. But now she was actually using grid lines, which meant she had come prepared.
"Ah."
Gu Zheng didn't blush and deny it; on the contrary, she was unusually candid, her breath dissipating in the night, "Because I've always been looking forward to this day... Why stay so far away? Let's get closer."
Han Zhou did as he was told and took half a step.
"Closer."
Is that so?
"His expression is too stiff."
How about this?
"Like wood."
At Guzheng's prompting, he kept adjusting the distance and movements until their breaths almost mingled in the cold wind, at which point Guzheng pressed the shutter.
Just as the shutter clicked, the sound of fireworks exploding came from afar. The two looked up at the same time and saw several fleeting lights blooming in the night sky—it turned out that someone nearby was setting off small fireworks.
Han Zhou glanced at the photo. The two were standing very close, their expressions were not natural, and neither of them was looking at the camera. The background was a Christmas tree covered with cheap colored lights, the halo blurring the edges. The photo captured the moment the fireworks appeared, but it was also the moment the fireworks disappeared.
It is undoubtedly a failed photograph.
"Should we reshoot?" he asked.
"no need."
Gu Zheng stared at the fading firework in the photo for a long time, then smiled and set the photo as her screensaver in front of him. The faint light in the night sky was thus frozen in time.
The wind blew again, and she tidied her wind-blown hair, saying softly, "Let's reshoot next year."
"How about we reshoot it now?" Han Zhou suddenly said.
"why?"
Gu Zheng took the remaining half of the sweet potato from his hand, took a big bite, and the shimmering light of the Christmas tree lights in her eyes fell into Han Zhou's eyes.
Han Zhou was silent for a moment: "Why don't you answer me first, why do you want to film it next year?"
Gu Zheng didn't answer. She wolfed down her sweet potato, wiped her mouth and face vigorously, and asked in return:
Are you worried that you won't have the chance next year?
As soon as she finished speaking, she saw Han Zhou's expression stiffen for a moment, but he didn't say anything, he just smiled and his eyes crinkled.
"Just kidding."
"..."
It's snowing again.
At first, there were only a few scattered snowflakes, which felt cool as they landed on her collar. But when she looked up at the sky, the snowflakes had become denser, like tiny feathers swirling in the Christmas tree lights.
Cheers erupted from across the street; some shop was setting off fireworks. Under the warm yellow streetlights, countless snowflakes streaked across the street, casting a hazy glow over the entire street.
"It's snowing again."
She stretched out her hand, and a snowflake melted as soon as it landed in her palm. "Do you remember where my umbrella went?"
"I don't remember." Han Zhou shook his head. "It's about time to go eat."
Gu Zheng hummed in agreement, then turned to look one last time at the huge Christmas tree behind her. She sent He Ling a message asking her to cancel the room reservation, before turning around and walking into the swirling snowflakes.
Christmas carols were playing in the surrounding shops, red discount tags were pasted all over the glass windows, and pedestrians hurried by carrying gift boxes, leaving messy footprints on the snow.
"Han Zhou," she suddenly asked, "have you noticed that I've changed recently?"
What has changed?
"I'm the one asking you."
"You've become more beautiful?" Han Zhou said with a smile.
Gu Zheng rolled her eyes: "Such sweet talk won't work on me."
Although she said that, she laughed along, "If even you can't tell, then it seems I haven't made any progress."
"That's not something you would say."
“I think so too.” She exhaled a puff of white breath and looked up at the falling snowflakes. “But I still said it.”
As the night deepened and the temperature plummeted, the lingering warmth of the sweet potato in her palms quickly dissipated, and the chill crept up her fingertips. She breathed warm air into her hands, but before she could put them down, a large, warm hand grasped hers and tucked it into his pocket.
"You've become brave."
She heard someone speaking in her ear.
Her nose suddenly stung, and she forced a smile, rolling her eyes. "Didn't you already see it?"
"Yes, I figured it out a long time ago."
"You lied to me again..."
"I'm not lying to you."
Han Zhou gripped the icy hand in his pocket. It proved that even a girl like Gu Zheng could have cold hands in winter. "You didn't give me a chance to answer again."
Gu Zheng paused, her shadow stretched long on the snow by the streetlight: "...Isn't it too late?"
"what?"
"I'm asking..."
She paused, her voice partly carried away by the wind, "Isn't it too late to take such a silly photo with you now?" The traffic light at the street corner changed, cars roared past behind, the noise was shut out, and the world was reduced to this small area, covered with snow and silence.
What she actually wanted to say was, "Isn't it too late to become brave now?" but she felt it was too cheesy, so she changed her words.
Sure enough, she wasn't brave enough, nor thick-skinned enough.
...No wonder he lost to that guy.
Han Zhou was taken aback for a moment, then chuckled: "Didn't we already take those photos? On your birthday last time, and the time we climbed..."
"Different."
Guzheng interrupted him, but didn't say anything about how it was different.
She simply released her hand from his grasp, took out her phone from her down jacket pocket, and the screen lit up—it was a photo of the two of them together. The fireworks overhead vanished instantly, leaving only a blurry trail.
"Han Zhou".
"Ah."
Am I still your sun?
A cheerful voice drifted into his ears along with the whistling wind. Han Zhou remained silent for a long time before softly replying, "Yes, always."
Gu Zheng smiled, her eyes still curved in a gentle smile.
"That sun..."
She paused, suppressing the surging pain and resentment in her heart, her breath instantly torn apart by the wind. "Should I stay as far away from you as possible?"
The sound was very soft, so soft that it seemed to be blown away by the wind and snow. The light from the street lamp shone on her back, outlining a blurry circle, as if it were about to melt into the snow.
Han Zhou stopped in his tracks.
The two found themselves on a bridge, the river beneath which was frozen, reflecting the fragmented light and shadow on the bank.
"Feel sorry."
He began with his usual "sorry," then said in as calm a tone as possible, "But it's winter now, so the sun is naturally better as close as possible."
Guzheng, however, did not laugh as usual. She stood by the bridge, looking down at the snow falling on the ice.
"What about spring, autumn, and summer?"
She deliberately put summer last because she knew very well that summer and winter were the most irreconcilable seasons, just like her and that guy.
Now that things had come to this, Han Zhou was completely certain that Gu Zheng knew everything he had been hiding, and his mood was calmer than he had expected:
"Without you, my life would always be a winter."
This wasn't just empty talk; if it weren't for the guzheng, he would have died in the winter of his second year of high school.
He knew he might die this winter, but he wouldn't be like those idiots in idol dramas who would push her away by saying, "Guzheng, I don't like you anymore."
He will definitely survive, and he will definitely keep the guzheng with him.
So he continued, "I told you, I will tell you everything if you want to hear it, but I will never let you leave."
Gu Zheng was silent for a moment, without replying: "I was the last to find out, right? Everyone was keeping it from me, Teacher Ouyang, Sister Zhong Yin, even my senior was lying to me."
She's not stupid; once she has doubts, many things she couldn't understand before become clear.
"It's not their fault; I begged them to keep it a secret for me."
"I don't blame them."
Gu Zheng shook her head, turned to look at him, her expression revealing little sadness, only a calm confusion, "But Han Zhou... why did you hide it from me?"
Seeing Gu Zheng's forced composure, Han Zhou felt a lump in his throat and said in a deep voice, "I'm afraid you'll be sad."
"You didn't tell me at first because you were afraid I'd be sad, but now that you've told me at the end, does that mean I won't be sad anymore?"
When Gu Zheng suddenly raised her hand, Han Zhou thought she was going to slap him, but Gu Zheng just gently patted the snow off his shoulder and hair and gave a soft "humph," just like always.
But how could they possibly be the same?
“I wish you had told me from the beginning,” she said.
"Would you accept that then?"
“No,” she shook her head, “then I wouldn’t have to wait until winter.”
Han Zhou wanted to say something, but she didn't give him the chance and asked another question, "It seems like I'm always last in everything you do. Is there anything I'm number one in?"
She seemed to be in a hurry, wanting to ask all the questions at once so she wouldn't have any regrets.
Looking into those eyes that still seemed to hold a sliver of expectation, Han Zhou's mood grew heavier, and he shook his head.
He had imagined many endings, none of which ended with Guzheng's anger and disappointment, but he was wrong about all of them.
The only thing he guessed correctly was one thing—
Gu Zheng did not cry when she learned the truth.
"I knew it."
Gu Zheng looked into the distance and noticed a crack in the river, like a wound on the earth. Instead of offering comfort, the heavens continued to sprinkle cold salt on it.
"Feel sorry."
This is the only thing Han Zhou can say right now.
"Honestly, I initially thought today would be a great day..."
Gu Zheng remained silent for a long time before taking a deep breath and turning her face away, her eyes barely curving into crescents.
"So what were you trying to tell me back then? Was this it?"
Seeing Han Zhou's heavy expression, she shook her head vigorously again. "Forget it, let's not talk about unhappy things. Let me speak first—"
She turned around, put her hands behind her back, her cheeks slightly flushed, and took half a step closer to him as if she had finally made up her mind.
Then, she tiptoed and, amidst the falling snow, gently touched his lips.
It was very light and fleeting, like a snowflake falling on the skin, the coolness arriving before the temperature.
The moment her lips parted, a genuine smile finally appeared on her face, radiant and captivating.
"Han Zhou, I like you."
On a Christmas Eve, a snowy, ordinary night like a weekend.
The girl, who had kept her secret for two whole years, finally mustered up the courage to return it to the wind herself.
It's clearly something to be happy about, so why am I so sad?
Her heart was pounding, and she forced herself to expel the pent-up frustration from her body. She said in a forced, relaxed tone, "It doesn't seem that difficult."
"Guzheng..." Han Zhou wanted to say something.
Guzheng still didn't give him a chance, only letting out a long sigh: "...If only I could have said it sooner."
She opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something more, but in the end she said nothing. She just stood there for a long time, as if she wanted to etch the face in front of her into her heart forever. Then she turned around, leaving behind a silhouette.
"Han Zhou, let's not see each other again."
"...except for Christmas."
She had promised to accompany Han Zhou to offer incense to his mother every year.
Since he could only see her back, Han Zhou didn't know what expression Gu Zheng had when she said those words. He only saw that after she finished speaking, she strode forward with firm and resolute steps.
He quickly caught up with her, only to see Gu Zheng suddenly stop and turn around to look at him.
"By the way, Han Zhou, thank you so much. I will always love you, you will always be my number one—"
She paused, her voice so soft it seemed to dissipate in the wind, "Although I'm no longer your number one."
When she said this, she neither cried nor laughed, but simply tilted her head back as if afraid that someone would see her expression.
In reality, she was simply putting into practice what she had once said—
Whether you cry or laugh, even if you are destined not to be together, at least when you part ways, you should hold your head high with pride.
Han Zhou stopped in his tracks.
He wanted to say something more, and he should say something more, even rushing over to hug her and desperately trying to keep her.
But it didn't work.
A guzheng that "admits defeat" cannot be kept.
Even if he managed to keep her, and he knelt on the ground begging, he wouldn't be able to get Guzheng to accept it in a short time.
The guzheng is always his sun, but the sun cannot share the same sky with other stars.
"I like you too, Guzheng."
He uttered the most honest words of his life, then stood still, watching her walk away without looking back, his steps changing from firm to hurried, faster and faster, until he started running.
It seems that only in this way can one resist the urge to look back.
A trail of footprints of varying depths was left on the snow, only to be quickly covered by fresh snow.
He watched the departing figure, and couldn't help but follow after it. (End of Chapter)