Revisiting Tokyo

On the last day of July, Xia Mo was queuing to board a plane at Taoyuan Airport.

He was alone—his mother dropped him off at the security checkpoint and left, saying she had things to do at school and told him to send a message when he arrived.

After returning to Taiwan, my mother became an art teacher at an elementary school. She was busy preparing lessons during the summer vacation and couldn't take time off.

Xia Mo dragged her suitcase, her backpack stuffed with two boxes of pineapple cakes prepared by her grandmother.

Grandma originally wanted to come along to see him off, but he persuaded her not to.

"Grandma, I'll only be gone for two weeks, I'll be back soon."

Grandma could only stand at the door, her eyes filled with reluctance, muttering, "Be careful on the road, call me when you arrive."

As the plane passed through the clouds, sunlight streamed in through the portholes, dazzlingly bright.

As summer drew to a close, I pulled down the sun visor, leaned back in my seat, and listened to the hum of the engine.

He couldn't sleep; his mind kept replaying the image of his grandmother standing at the door, the image of his mother bent over the table drawing lesson plans, and thoughts of Tokyo—

What are Fei Niao and Hua Hua doing now?

I need to return Asuka's hat to her after this meeting.

After they swapped hats on the day of the school festival, they tacitly agreed not to switch them back; his black hat was with her, and her white hat was with him.

He touched the white hat on his head, pulling the brim down a little.

It was raining in Tokyo when the plane landed at Haneda Airport. Looking out the window, the runway was wet and the sky was hazy.

After collecting his luggage, he came out and saw birds among the crowd in the arrival hall.

She stood against the wall, wearing that black hat with the brim pulled low, but Xia Mo still spotted her at a glance.

Next to her was Huahua—with her hair in double buns, wearing a pink T-shirt, and standing on tiptoe, peering in their direction. Beside Huahua stood a middle-aged man in a dark blue jacket; it was her father.

He came to pick him up at the airport with flowers and birds.

"Dad," Xia Mo called out as she walked over.

Xia Mo's father took the suitcase from his hands and patted him on the shoulder. "Let's go, the car is outside."

Feiniao stood two steps away, saying nothing. Huahua nudged her, and only then did she take a step forward.

Xia Mo looked at her and spoke first: "I'm back."

Asuka nodded, the "S" on her hat reflecting slightly under the airport lights.

Hua Hua watched the two of them from the side, a smile in her eyes, but unusually, she didn't say anything to tease them.

The four of them walked out of the airport. The rain had subsided, and only a fine drizzle remained in the air.

Xia Mo's father was driving, Xia Mo was in the passenger seat, and Fei Niao and Hua Hua were in the back seat.

As the car entered the Capital Expressway, Tokyo slowly unfolded outside the window in the rain and mist.

Hua Hua chattered excitedly in the back seat, "Xia Jun, you've lost weight! Has Grandma made you anything delicious?"

"have."

"Where are the pineapple cakes? You said you brought some on the phone!"

"In the backpack."

Hana leaned back in her chair contentedly, nudging Asuka beside her. "Asuka-chan, why aren't you saying anything?"

The bird looked out the window without turning around. "Looking outside."

The car arrived at Xia Mo's house. Xia Mo's father helped him carry his suitcase into the entryway, saying that he had only taken half a day off because he had things to do at the company and would be back for dinner that evening, and told them to make their own arrangements.

He left in a hurry after saying that, without even having time to change his jacket.

Hua Hua sighed: "Your dad is still the same as always."

Xia Mo did not respond.

The three of them sat down in the living room. Xia Mo took out the two boxes of pineapple cakes from her backpack, opened one box and placed it on the coffee table. The golden crust glistened under the light.

Hua Hua picked up a piece and took a big bite, mumbling "Delicious." Fei Niao also picked up a piece and took a small bite.

"It's a little sweet," Asuka said.

"Grandma bought them," Xia Mo said. "She said Taipei's pineapple cakes are better than Tokyo's."

Hua Hua smiled: "Grandma is right."

The three of them ate pineapple cakes, drank barley tea, and chatted about what had happened in the past few months.

Hua Hua said she won an award of excellence in her middle school piano competition, and Fei Biao said that many of the senior members of the ensemble chose to leave the club because of college entrance exams, so she left as well.

Xia Mo listened, occasionally responding. Fei Niao sat diagonally opposite him, hugging a cushion, her fingers drawing circles along the edge of the cushion.

"Xia Jun, are you going to be in the first year of junior high next semester?" Hua Hua suddenly asked.

Xia Mo nodded. "Schools in Taiwan start in September. My mom found a middle school with a music program for me, so I can skip straight to the first year of junior high."

"Wow." Hua Hua leaned back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. "Then Xia Jun and I are both middle school students, only Asuka-chan is still an elementary school student."

As soon as she finished speaking, Hua Hua's gaze turned to the flying bird. Xia Mo also looked over.

Feiniao felt uncomfortable being stared at by the two people. She pulled the cushion closer to her chest, turned her face away, and her ears turned bright red.

"What are you so smug about?" Asuka's voice was muffled. "I'll be a junior high student next year."

"There are still six months to go," Hua Hua added, delivering another jab.

Feiniao jumped up, said, "I'll go get a drink," and quickly went into the kitchen. The cushions she left on the sofa were still warm.

In the kitchen, Feiniao opened the refrigerator door, and a blast of cold air hit her. She stood in front of the refrigerator, not taking a drink, but just staring blankly at the few bottles of barley tea in the refrigerator compartment.

The voices in the living room lowered, then Hua Hua's voice rang out again, very softly, as if she were whispering.

"Xia Jun, I have something to tell you."

There was no response at the end of summer.

"Asuka-chan has been all alone at school these past few months...." Hana's tone was no longer as lively as usual, becoming very soft.

"Her former classmates, that Sato guy, led the way in isolating her again, saying things like she's amazing just because she's filmed GG. Asuka's mother said that sometimes she didn't even want to go to school."

In the kitchen, the bird's hand remained on the refrigerator handle, motionless.

"She was never talkative to begin with, and after you left, she became even quieter. She doesn't chat with anyone in class, just sits alone at her desk reading during lunch break, and no one wants to be in a group with her in PE. She's the same as when you first met her, or even more so than before..."

A soft "click" came from the kitchen—Feiniao had closed the refrigerator door.

She didn't take a drink. She stood in front of the refrigerator, head down, her bangs falling down and obscuring her eyes.

Hua Hua and Xia Mo in the living room stopped when they heard the noise.

Feiniao paused for a moment at the kitchen doorway, then took a deep breath and came out carrying the barley tea bottle.

She placed the barley tea on the coffee table, sat back down on the sofa, and picked up the cushion.

Her movements were so natural that she seemed not to have heard anything, but Xia Mo noticed that her eyes were a little red, though it wasn't very noticeable under the living room lights.

"Flying Bird," Xia Mo called to her.

Feiniao didn't look at him, but stared at the pineapple cake box on the coffee table.

"How are you?"

"Very good," Asuka said. Her voice was soft, and her tone was flat, so flat that it didn't sound like she was saying "very good."

Xia Mo paused for a moment.

"Was what Hua Hua just said true?"

Asuka's fingers paused on the edge of the cushion.

"What did she say?" she asked back, her tone carrying a defensive tone that implied "I don't know what you're talking about."

Xia Mo looked at her and said without beating around the bush, "You're all alone at school now."

Feiniao didn't speak. She hugged the cushion tighter, rested her chin on it, and stared at the fruit bowl on the coffee table.

There were also two pineapple cakes in the fruit plate, golden in color and glistening with oil under the light.

She stared at it for a long time, as if she were looking at something very, very far away.

"So what?" she finally said.

Xia Mo frowned slightly.

"Asuka, you can't do this..."

"Why not?" Asuka's voice rose a little, interrupting Xia Mo.

"It's not like I can't survive on my own."

"You know that's not what I meant." Xia Mo's tone remained unchanged, still that unhurried manner, but Hua Hua could tell—he was worried.

The bird turned its face away, neither looking at the end of summer nor at the flowers.

She looked out the window; the rain had stopped, but the sky was still overcast.

"Asuka-chan..." Hana wanted to say something.

"Don't worry about me," Asuka said in a muffled voice, but her tone was firmer than before. "I can handle it."

Xia Mo looked at her.

She sat there, her body slightly tense, like a string. She hadn't taken off her hat; the brim was pulled low, obscuring most of her face.

He couldn't see her expression, but he could see her hands—her fingers gripping the edge of the cushion, her knuckles white.

"You can't be alone forever," Xia Mo said. "You have to learn to get along with other people eventually."

The bird suddenly turned its head, its eyes reddening.

"Why should I?" Her voice trembled. "They're the ones rejecting me, I'm the one being disliked. Why should I have to learn to get along with others? Why can't they learn to accept me?"

Her voice grew louder and louder, until finally it seemed as if something was blocking her throat, causing her to choke. She lowered her head, burying her face in her arms, her voice muffled and nasal.

"They're not you..."

The living room fell silent. Xia Mo opened her mouth, but didn't speak.

Hua Hua sat beside him, looking at Xia Mo and then at the birds. Her lips moved several times before she finally spoke.

"Alright, alright, stop acting like this." Hua Hua clapped her hands, drawing the two people's attention back.

"Natsu-kun, stop talking. Asuka-chan, stop talking too. Look at you two, you finally get to meet, and it's like you're arguing."

She stood up, walked over and sat down next to Asuka, put her arm around Asuka's shoulder, and gently pulled Asuka out of the cushion.

The bird's eyes were red, but it didn't cry; instead, tiny droplets of water clung to its eyelashes.

"Asuka-chan, listen to me." Hana's tone was unusually serious.

"I'll come see you every weekend. If you don't want to go to school, you don't have to. We'll go out for nice food, go shopping, and practice the piano. Anyway, I have nothing to do at home by myself."

The bird sniffed but didn't reply.

Hua Hua loosened her grip, then suddenly clapped her hands, her eyes lit up, and her voice rose eight octaves.

"Oh, right! I just remembered something!" Hua Hua turned around, facing Fei Niao, and placed her hands on her knees, striking a serious pose.

"Asuka-chan, do you want to become an idol?"

Feiniao paused for a moment, forgetting even to wipe her red eyes.

"My dad said that Sony Music is going to form a new idol girl group soon and they'll start recruiting soon." Hua Hua spoke as fast as a machine gun.

"You've acted in GG, studied piano, play timpani, and are good-looking—aren't you a ready-made idol?"

The bird opened its mouth, but before it could speak, Flower continued talking.

"You don't want to go to school? Then don't go! Go become an idol, stand on a big stage, and let those who don't like you see—you, Saito Asuka, are not someone they can reach!"

Hua Hua's eyes shone like two searchlights, and her voice was so loud that it even drowned out the cicadas outside the window.

"I'll keep an eye on the registration for you! I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything! You don't need to worry about anything, just focus on preparing for the selection!"

As the bird looked at the flower's sparkling face, its lips moved slightly, then closed again.

She neither said it was good nor bad.

Her fingers pinched and released the cushion, then released and pinched again.

Xia Mo looked at her.

He noticed that her eyes were still red, but the tiny water droplets on her eyelashes had dried at some point.

He picked up the barley tea on the coffee table, took a sip, and said nothing.

Outside the window, the rain had stopped sometime ago. A crack appeared in the clouds, and sunlight streamed through, glittering on the living room floor.

The cicadas began to chirp, one chirp after another, as if they were counting something.

Hua Hua glanced at the relaxed birds, then at Xia Mo, stuffed the last pineapple cake into her mouth, and chewed with a broad smile.

"I'll go back and ask my mom. If she agrees, I'll sign up."

"It's a bird," Feiniao said softly.