I don't even know how I lost!

—Not one of them escaped!

It's either cancer or late-stage cancer; it's either life-threatening or a countdown.

Aunt Er's vision went black on the spot, and she swayed while leaning against the wall.

Liu Dong clapped his hands, then calmly added, "Ahem, let me make this clear first—the skills my grandfather passed down are genuine, but I've never actually practiced them; it's all theoretical. If I'm wrong, please forgive me; if you take it to heart, please don't take it seriously!"

"Let me clarify: today's pulse diagnosis is just a casual chat, for fun, not a medical consultation, not a free clinic, and certainly not a diagnosis! To truly understand, you still need hospital scans, X-rays, and a doctor's diagnosis! My words are just for reference, understand?"

"Important Reminder: This is purely a trial run by a novice. We assume no responsibility, offer no after-sales service, and do not accept returns!"

"Everyone, let's disperse!"

—Bang!

Liu Dong slammed the door shut, keeping the panicked crowd outside.

The outside world is in complete chaos:

"What should we do? Is this illness real or fake?"

Yan Bugui's lips trembled, and his voice shook.

No one responded.

The deaf old woman was quite certain: "Accurate! Even more detailed than what the doctors at the hospital say!"

Xu Damao nodded repeatedly: "He's always right about my dad's affairs!"

Someone else chimed in, "Have you forgotten? Jia Dongxu's ex-girlfriend had a seizure in the park. If Liu Dong hadn't pinched her philtrum and pressed her acupoints, she would have been rushed to the emergency room!"

But someone immediately retorted:

Yan Jiecheng sneered: "Accurate? He said Jia Dongxu is infertile, but she's already pregnant. Isn't that just blatant lying?"

"Exactly!" someone chimed in. "Who are you trying to fool..." "That's exactly it!"

Some people murmured: Liu Dong's words are a bit far-fetched.

Before he could finish speaking, Yi Zhonghai suddenly cleared his throat and slapped his thigh: "Liu Dong isn't stupid. How could he not know whether Qin Huairu is pregnant or not? Knowing full well that she's carrying a child, he still insists that Jia Dongxu is 'imperfect in that area'—something's not right here!"

"Dad! Dad! Dad!!"

Just then, Liu Guangqi burst in from the front yard, losing one shoe in the process: "Dad! I just saw Jia Dongxu! He dragged his mother, Aunt Zhang, straight to the hospital, saying he wanted to give the old lady a 'complete head-to-toe check-up'!"

"Hey!" Yi Zhonghai slapped his forehead. "I told you! If you're really tough enough, why bother with a medical checkup? You can have one—you'll only know if you're capable after the checkup!"

The crowd immediately erupted in uproar.

What illness does the other person have?

Late-stage liver cancer!

A mass has been found in the uterus!

My lungs are smoking!

My chest feels tight, like I can't get enough blood in my chest...

"My goodness..." someone shuddered. "At most, Jia Dongxu's gun misfired, but ours are all 'cannon barrels cracked'!"

"Let's go! Don't just stand there!" Yi Zhonghai grabbed his hat and rushed out. "Life's on our hands! Let's get to the hospital to get our health checked!"

On the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, the entire alley seemed to have made a pact, with everyone crowding into the hospital's registration hall.

Two hours later, everyone returned with dark faces, drooping heads, and clutching their forms.

"Bullshit! Pure nonsense!"

The second aunt slammed the medical report on the table, her hands trembling: "They said I have a tumor in my uterus? I couldn't even feel a lump the size of a bean!"

"Of course!" The third uncle rolled up his sleeves, showing his arms. "Liver cancer? My liver is perfectly fine. I ate two bowls of stewed pork liver last night!"

Everyone chimed in with their own opinions, and they stomped their feet in anger.

But there was nothing they could do, no matter how angry they were—the doctor said the results were only for reference and didn't count. Who would be so shameless as to block Liu Dong's door and yell, "You're lying, pay me back!"? He's not running a clinic!

The only exception was Jia Zhangshi—she had long since given up on having that face.

"Fifth floor, window number four, four dollars and sixty cents!" She held up the payment slip, her hands trembling like leaves in the wind. "I stood in line for ages, had three vials of blood drawn, and had a half-body X-ray, just to hear 'You're perfectly healthy'?"

"Liu Dong! Come out here!"

"If you don't pay up today, I'll break down your doorstep!"

Her loud voice cleaved through the yard, startling the sparrows on the clothesline into fluttering away.

"Squeak—"

The door opened.

Liu Dong, still sleepy-eyed, with a single strand of hair sticking up, asked, "Auntie, what are you doing?"

"What? Are you still pretending?" Jia Zhangshi almost jumped up. "The hospital said I'm made of iron, but you, you just open your mouth and say I'm no good! You made me waste four yuan and six jiao! Pay up! Pay up right now!"

Liu Dong rubbed his eyes, looking completely innocent: "I didn't say you were sick."

"You said that!"

"I really didn't say that!" He shrugged. "The whole neighborhood can testify—I said: You're fine! Really fine! Absolutely nothing!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" someone chimed in immediately. "I heard it too. Liu Dong said you're stronger than an ox!"

"That's right! The original saying was, 'Aunt Jia lived to ninety-nine, and she didn't even pant while carrying water to irrigate the vegetables!'"

Madam Jia choked on her breath, her face turning a deep purplish-red—

That's right! That bastard definitely didn't say she was sick...

But how come, how come... it's like having a mouthful of cotton stuffed in my throat, feeling stuffy and blocked, and unable to spit it out?

Four yuan and sixty cents! Enough to buy thirty catties of fine grain, enough to sew a new coat, enough for my grandson to eat candy for half a year!

So it's all gone like this?

She felt a tightness in her chest, clutched her heart, turned and walked away, her back view resembling a defeated rooster.

Everyone else did the same—each person paid four yuan, and no one was left out. But who would have the nerve to go and ask for it back? Yi Zhonghai sighed and muttered, "From now on, when you see a doctor, make sure you know the real doctor, and don't listen to the gossip in the alley. What if they talk someone into their grave? Who can bear the responsibility?"

inside the house.

Chen Xueru laughed so hard she almost rolled off the bed: "Brother Liu Dong, you're so mean! You planned this all along, didn't you?"

"I was wondering the same thing," she said, covering her mouth, "how come everyone in the hospital, young and old, is so sick they're barely clinging to life? Did you personally 'select' them all?"

Liu Dong reclined in his rattan chair, legs crossed: "Of course—if I told them all the truth, saying Aunt Zhang's blood pressure is stable, Uncle Li has strong kidney energy, and Aunt Wang is nimble on her feet… they'd turn around and worship me like a living saint! From now on, they'd all come to my house for a cold, cough, backache, or their kids' fever—what for? To save money? To save time? In the end, it'd be me working non-stop until I collapsed from exhaustion?"

"To be honest—" he flicked his nails, "I'm not related to them, why should I spend money, effort, and smiles on them?"

"Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!" Chen Xueru pounced on him, hugging his neck and shaking him violently. "I'm scared now! Your mind works faster than a steel rolling mill. One day you'll scheme against me, and I won't even know how I lost!"

Beside her, Chen's mother smiled, her eyes shining brightly.

This son-in-law is quick-witted, firm-willed, and methodical in his actions...

If her silly son could learn even a tenth of what she was learning, she would be laughing in her dreams.

Ugh……

She shook her head slightly, her shoes scraping the ground, and silently went back into the house.

Time flies—the eighth day of the Lunar New Year is here.

First day back at work after the New Year holiday.