Light in the Gap

"Don't look, don't look at me."

The woman tried to pull her legs down under her skirt, but she couldn't.

Shen Gui looked away.

Under the tree, one stood and the other lay down, and they fell silent. Only the sound of rain pattering on the leaves could be heard at the village entrance.

After a long while, the old man at the tea stall finally extinguished the fire.

The woman suddenly spoke:

My name is Chen Ayue.

"I'm from Jiangping Prefecture. My father runs a silk shop. When I was little, I didn't like studying account books. I preferred picking pomegranates in the backyard. I had two maids, one named Xiaoque and the other Chuntao. Chuntao was clumsy and always pulled my hair when she combed it, so I would scold her and then give her candy..."

She spoke in a fragmented manner, and some of her sentences were disjointed.

"That year, Jiangping Prefecture was struck by a plague. Every day, people were carrying dead bodies out of the streets, cart after cart. My father led the family northward. There were so many people on the road—crying, shouting, grabbing grain, pushing carts—all crammed together."

"I remember it was raining that day too. I lost one of my shoes, and Xiao Que went to pick it up for me. I turned around to look at her, and when I turned back again, my mother was gone, my father was gone, and the car was gone too."

"I stood there calling for my mother until my voice was hoarse. Then someone gave me a bowl of hot soup and said, 'Little girl, don't be afraid. Come with me, and I'll take you to find your family.'"

She suddenly lowered her head and smiled.

"I really went with her."

"They walked a long way. At first, they gave me food, but later they stuffed my mouth with cloth and tied my hands. I heard them say, 'This one looks good and can fetch a good price.'"

When A-Yue got to this point, it sounded like she was talking about someone else's business.

She looked up at Shen Gui: "Do you know how much a good price is?"

Shen Gui remained silent.

She held up three fingers: "Thirty taels."

She then changed her story: "No, it was twenty-eight taels. Zhou Laizi thought I was too thin and gave me two taels less. The old woman who sold me cursed him as a poor wretch. Zhou Laizi said, 'Even a poor wretch has a wife.'"

When she mentioned Zhou Laizi, her voice finally went hoarse.

"His teeth were yellow, and he had scabies on his face. Everyone in the village laughed at him, saying he would never be able to get married, but he bought me."

Chen Ayue looked down at her hands. "That night, he drank alcohol and shouted to the people outside when he came in, 'I have a wife now, so don't laugh at me anymore.'"

She quieted down, and the sound of rain suddenly became heavy. In the distance, a window opened a crack, then quickly closed again.

Shen Gui did not turn around.

Chen Ayue didn't look at it either.

She seemed to have long been used to the eyes peering through those slits. "Back then, I wanted to run, I thought about it every day, and I ran three times."

She said slowly,

"The first time, on my third day here, I took advantage of him going to the fields and climbed over the wall to run away. I didn't get out of the village and Aunt Zhou saw me. She chased after me while shouting. When Zhou Laizi came back, he hit me with a carrying pole and broke two of the poles. His mother was cursing from the side, saying that all women are like this when they first arrive. He said that beating them into submission would make them behave."

"The second time, I was smarter. I crawled out from behind the pigsty at night and ran to the town. I knelt in front of a grain shop and begged the owner to report me to the authorities and send me back to Jiangping Prefecture. I told him that my father would give him a lot of money."

She sniffed, her face devoid of tears; the rain had washed everything away.

"The grain shop owner said that every village has its rules and every family has its laws. Once a woman is married, she belongs to that family and cannot run around. Running around would ruin the reputation of several villages."

"He brought me back."

She mimicked the man's tone, lowering her voice considerably:

"In our region, unity is the most important thing."

After saying that, she laughed so hard she bent over, coughing as she laughed, her movements like a madwoman, or perhaps she was already mad.

"Zhou Laizi ran to the county and said that I had abducted people, which was illegal. The people in the county government helped arrest me and sent me back. He broke my right leg with a hoe."

He said, "Run! Run some more!"

As Yue finished speaking, she tilted her head and laughed, a smile that looked extremely eerie in the night: "Later, I understood. People can't escape. I'm going to become a ghost, and everyone will be afraid of me, afraid of me."

Shen Gui understood.

This woman pretended to be a ghost for three years, hoping to instill fear in others and stop them from bullying her...

The rain lessened a bit, but the wind was still blowing, and the leaves of the old locust tree rustled.

Ah Yue lay on the tree root, her soaked white clothes clinging to her back, outlining the shape of her shoulder blades; she was extremely thin.

Shen Gui wanted to say something, but he found that he didn't know how to comfort people, and he couldn't even remember the last time he had comforted someone.

The reason I've been able to stand here for so long is simply because this woman's situation is somewhat similar to my own.

suddenly,

Shen Gui raised an eyebrow, his expression changing for the first time.

He opened his palm, and a stone pendant necklace appeared in his hand. The cracks were still four, neither fewer nor healed.

But Shen Gui was certain that at some point just now, the pendant had indeed changed, becoming slightly hotter than usual.

Shen Gui had some guesses in his mind, but he couldn't be sure.

After a brief pause, he looked at the woman at his feet.

A-Yue was still rambling on and on, sometimes speaking clearly, sometimes not. She no longer needed an audience; she had been a ghost under the locust tree for three years and had gotten used to talking to herself.

As Shen Gui listened, he recalled the unusual occurrence of the stone fall earlier. When did it start to heat up?

It wasn't when A-Yue talked about Zhou Laizi, nor when she saw the scars, but when she heard her say "there's no escaping it"...

Shen Gui vaguely grasped a direction, so he said softly, "Shall I take you out?"

A-Yue paused for a moment, looked up, then quickly lowered her head again, her voice also becoming softer:

"The last time was when a peddler helped me... He didn't help me for my health, he just couldn't stand seeing me get beaten, but he got beaten up because of me, and it was very bad."

"I ruined him."

"I don't want to hurt you."

Ah Yue's head was bowed low, and recalling the past had worsened her mental state.

She began repeating over and over, "There's no way to escape... there's no way to escape..."

Shen Gui pondered various possibilities, while A Yue mumbled something incomprehensible, and the two stopped communicating.

After an incense stick had burned, the rain stopped, the clouds dispersed a bit, the moonlight was faint, and singing could be heard under the locust tree.

It's a folk song, the melody is badly off, but you can still understand the general idea.

"My dear, my dear, don't run around. There are white-browed tigers on the hillside and spotted snakes in the ravines. If you run too far, your mother won't be able to find you."

Ah Yue squatted under the tree roots, hugging her knees with both hands, resting her chin on her knees, and singing as she looked at the distant mountain ridge.

She's gone mad again.

It's better if he goes crazy.

The singing was hoarse and broken, but the childlike innocence in the melody remained.

"My daughter ran across three mountains, and her mother chased after her, but couldn't catch up, couldn't catch up..."

"A-Nan ran out of the mountains, and her mother called out from inside, calling A-Nan's name..."

The night is dark.

The wind rustles through the old locust tree, making its leaves whisper in the breeze.

The songs sung under the old locust tree drifted into the village.

gloomy,

It was bleak and desolate.

To the united village, it truly seemed like a ghost, like an heretic.