Autumn, Your Words Are Profound, I Speak of Longing

Chapter 96 Autumn, Your Words Are Profound, I Speak of Longing

It is already late autumn, September.

As dusk fell that day, Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai practiced archery in the pine forest behind the mountain, as usual.

Liang Shanbo's archery skills have now reached a level of perfection, and it is not an exaggeration to call him a divine archer.

Even Zhu Yingtai's archery skills are now far superior to what they used to be. When she draws her bow and releases an arrow, she exudes a dashing and heroic spirit. Although she is not as good as Liang Shanbo, she is already quite remarkable.

After practicing archery, Liang Shanbo put his bow away and Zhu Yingtai handed it to Yin Xin. The three of them walked down the winding mountain path and arrived at the open field outside the back gate of the school.

Autumn colors have deepened in the fields, leaving a desolate scene. The foxtail grass and plantain have withered, and the dandelion fluff has long since dissipated, leaving only bare stems standing among the tangled weeds.

Zhu Yingtai suddenly stopped and refused to go any further.

She gazed at the wilderness, at the withered, drooping grass, and at the pine forest undulating in the autumn wind in the distance, a hint of melancholy creeping into her eyes.

She couldn't help but recite: "Alas, the autumn air is so mournful! The grass and trees wither and decay. A chill runs through me, as if on a long journey; I climb mountains and stand by water, bidding farewell to those who are about to return."

This is Song Yu's "Nine Arguments," every word imbued with autumn's chill, every sentence filled with sorrow.

She had read this poem many times and had long since memorized it.

Standing amidst this desolate autumn scenery, feeling the falling leaves and the chilling autumn wind, she felt that Song Yu's writing was truly insightful. It wasn't the fiery, heart-wrenching grief of Qu Yuan, but rather a quiet and lingering desolation after the heart has been cleansed by autumn waters.

She turned to look at Liang Shanbo: "Brother Liang, this autumn, I feel a sense of sadness. The grass and trees have withered, the migratory birds have flown away, and the world suddenly feels much more empty. It's as if something has quietly left this season, never to be found again."

She gazed at the withered yellow fields and said wistfully, "At this time last year, I could still often see Wang Shu and Xiao Hu practicing archery here, their bows drawn to full length, their spirits soaring. In the blink of an eye, more than half a year has passed since their graduation, and they have been gone for a long time. Sun Yuangui and Yu Yanzhi have also been gone for more than half a year. The joy of studying together as classmates is like yesterday's flowers, impossible to recapture."

She gazed again at the distant pine forest, the setting sun casting a warm glow upon it, yet to her eyes, the scene seemed chilly: "Brother Liang, are the gatherings and separations of life just like the seasons for plants? When the time comes, it's time to part, beyond anyone's control. This year marks the third autumn that Brother Liang and I have spent at the academy. By this time next year, perhaps I will no longer be here, perhaps Brother Liang will no longer see me."

After speaking, she looked at Liang Shanbo again, a hint of reluctance in her eyes.

Liang Shanbo met her gaze and said gently, "Although Wang Shu, Xiao Hu, Sun Yuangui, and Yu Yanzhi are gone, those days in the academy are real. The friendship between classmates and the joy of learning from each other will not disappear just because they are gone. Those memories are engraved in my heart and can never be erased."

He smiled slightly: "Besides, my dear brother, who knows if we will definitely be separated by this time next year? Perhaps we can stay together for a long time, who knows?"

Zhu Yingtai was stunned.

She gazed intently into his eyes, which were clear and open, showing neither evasion nor a hint of jest.

A long-term commitment?

What exactly did Brother Liang mean by what he said? Was it a promise of long-term support between brothers, or something else?

She wanted to get to the bottom of it.

However, he couldn't bring himself to ask, and all that remained was silence.

This day was September 15th.

At night, Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai stood side by side outside the schoolhouse, looking up at the moon.

A full moon hung in the dark blue sky, its gentle light spreading across the heavens.

Zhu Yingtai gazed at the bright moon and said softly, "Although it rained on the night of the full moon in August and we couldn't admire the moon, the moon on the full moon in September is still very round and beautiful."

The Mid-Autumn Festival in the Eastern Jin Dynasty was not as lively as it was in later generations. However, moon-viewing on the fifteenth of August was already a popular custom.

On a crisp autumn night, with a bright, clear moon, scholars often drank wine, composed poems, and engaged in refined conversation under the moon. Even ordinary people would take an extra look at the bright moon, finding it a fitting part of the scene.

On the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival last month, it was raining in Qiantang, which is why Zhu Yingtai had such feelings at that moment.

Liang Shanbo also gazed at the bright moon, as if speaking to it: "Brother, how about I tell you a story? This story is about Chang'e."

Zhu Yingtai's eyes lit up, and she turned to look at him with great interest: "Chang'e? I know a little about her. I heard that she was Yi's wife, who stole the elixir of immortality, flew to the moon, and never came down again."

Liang Shanbo still didn't look at her, but simply nodded and slowly began to speak: "Legend has it that Yi obtained the elixir of immortality from the Queen Mother of the West, but his wife Chang'e stole it and planned to fly to the moon alone. Before setting off, Chang'e sought out a sorcerer named Youhuang to divine her fortune using the divination method."

After Huang finished his divination, he told her it was an auspicious omen and prophesied: "You will be like the graceful 'Returning Maiden' in the hexagram, flying alone westward. Even if you encounter darkness along the way, do not be alarmed, for you will ultimately prosper greatly." Chang'e then took refuge on the moon and eventually transformed into a toad.

After listening, Zhu Yingtai seemed to be deep in thought, and asked, "Brother Liang, do you think Chang'e's actions were right or wrong?"

Liang Shanbo then turned to look at her, but instead of answering directly, he asked, "What do you think, my dear brother?"

Zhu Yingtai pondered for a moment, then shook her head, her tone filled with regret: "She shouldn't have done that. Yi is her husband, and the elixir of immortality is something they share, not something she possesses alone. She shouldn't have stolen it, much less flown away alone."

Though she gained immortality, she lost everything, utterly alone in that remote and desolate place. Alone there, what joy would a thousand or ten thousand years hold?

At this point, she suddenly paused.

She thought of herself.

She felt that she resembled Chang'e in some ways.

Her coming to Wansong Academy disguised herself as a man to study, wasn't that also a form of "stealing"?

She stole two or three years of time spent with Brother Liang, studying together day and night, and stole a period of joy that should never have been hers. And next year, she will most likely "fly away".

Instead of flying to the moon, she flew back to Shangyu, waiting to be forced into marriage with Ma Wencai and trapped in a cage forever. If that were truly the case, wouldn't she, like Chang'e, transform into a toad, living a life that is no different from death?

Thinking of this, she couldn't help but lower her head and look down.

After a moment, she raised her head again and asked Liang Shanbo, "Brother Liang, do you think there really is Chang'e on the moon? And that toad really is there?"

Liang Shanbo gazed at the bright moon, then met her gaze and smiled slightly: "I suppose there is no Chang'e, nor that toad. It's just a myth, a story that the ancients made up out of thin air while looking at the moon."

Zhu Yingtai gazed at the bright moon, then turned to him and asked, "What exactly is on the moon?"

Liang Shanbo said, "I don't know what's on the moon, but I think it's like a huge, bright mirror, reflecting the earth and mountains, and also reflecting the hearts of people in the world."

What a person holds in their heart, they can see in the moon. Throughout history, countless people separated by separation have gazed at the same bright moon, longing for those they cannot see. In that moonlight, how many tears have been shed?

He had a scientific answer in his mind, but he couldn't say it out loud.

In his previous life, he was quite interested in astronomy.

He knew that, from an astronomical perspective, the moon was indeed the Earth's only natural satellite, about a quarter the size of the Earth in diameter, composed of rock, with no atmosphere or liquid water on its surface, and covered with impact craters.

The Moon is tidally locked to Earth, with its rotation and revolution periods being the same, thus always presenting the same face to Earth. The Moon's gravity dominates Earth's tides. The giant impact hypothesis, however, posits that the Moon formed billions of years ago from a violent collision between a Mars-sized object and the early Earth.

Zhu Yingtai gazed at the bright moon again, as if speaking to it: "When I was young, my mother taught me to read the 'Moonrise' chapter of the Book of Songs: 'The moon rises bright, so beautiful is she. She is graceful and charming, yet my heart is troubled. The moon rises white, so beautiful is she. She is gentle and unassuming, yet my heart is troubled. The moon rises shining, so beautiful is she dazzling. She is graceful and charming, yet my heart is filled with sorrow.'"

My mother said that the poem was a satire of the ruler of Chen, who was not virtuous in his reign but indulged in beautiful women. I was young then and did not understand its deeper meaning; I only found it catchy and pleasant to recite, like a song or a ballad. My mother said that I would understand it when I grew up.

""

She turned her head, but didn't look into Liang Shanbo's eyes. Instead, she focused her gaze on his shoulder: "Now that I'm all grown up, I realize that Mother was wrong."

Liang Shanbo asked softly, "How do you know?"

Zhu Yingtai still avoided his gaze, her eyes fixed on his shoulder: "This poem is not actually satirical; it describes a person longing for another under the moon."

As the bright moon rose, so clear and luminous, she thought of the person hidden in her heart. That person's features, their posture, even their voice—all appeared in the moonlight, as if right before her eyes. The more she thought about it, the deeper her sorrow grew.

After saying this, she looked up at the bright moon.

The moonlight fell on her cheeks and onto her slightly reddened eyes, clear and bright, radiant with light.

This is a subtle confession.

However, it was ultimately a bit too subtle.

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