Lu Li Doesn't Die in Urban Legends

"It's really ridiculous, but it's also true."

Pan Shuai was also speechless. "Who knows why this woman came up with dozens of urban legends all at once! Everyone in our department was dumbfounded when they heard the news!"

Logically speaking, most urban legends are not so unsolvable.

As long as it's not triggered, this urban legend will remain dormant and nothing will happen.

Once triggered, there will be no problem as long as you follow the steps.

But damn it, it just won't trigger and keeps failing!

Not only will you suffer bad luck, but it's also "contagious"!

But this woman did something else – she produced dozens of different kinds at once!

That's a fucking genius!

Lu Li squinted his dead fish eyes and retorted, "Isn't that your girlfriend's best friend?"

"We've already broken up, and you're just causing trouble for me." Pan Shuai waved his hand. "Never mind me, the main problem now is yours. Lao Lu, you have to hang in there! Otherwise, the rest of us will only be able to see you one last time at the crematorium. We don't have the custom of holding funeral banquets in our city, so we might not be able to send you off then."

Lu Li: "..."

"Can't you guys even wish me well? How can you still laugh?"

"I can't even cry! Am I not allowed to laugh? This is a helpless, bitter laugh, okay?" Pan Shuai patted Lu Li on the shoulder to comfort him. "But there's good news: after working through the night, our department has finally figured out the order in which these urban legends appeared."

He explained to Lu Li, "Normally speaking, urban legends don't appear in clusters. Even if someone triggers several at the same time, there's a first-come, first-served order. Urban legends do appear in a queue."

"Who knows how that woman triggered dozens of them at the same time."

To be honest, this was the first time their bureau, a state-owned enterprise that had been established for decades, had ever seen anything like this.

I'd like to study it, but unfortunately the woman is already dead.

An autopsy is being performed, but it probably won't yield any results.

"Alright, I roughly understand the situation." Lu Li sighed and asked, "So what's the first urban legend?"

"That story about peeling an apple at midnight." Pan Shuai was already on his third cigarette. "Actually, we cyber police are exhausted from deleting posts online. We're trying our best to delete posts like urban legends, but there are too many people who are just bored and like to court death!"

Hao Liang added, "Let's not talk about that. Let's get back to the midnight apple-peeling thing. Usually, urban legends in a dormant state need to be triggered by someone who's asking for trouble. But if it's triggered and then the operation fails and infection starts, then the target can only passively accept it."

"For example, if you want to trigger the midnight apple peeling event manually, you need to buy an apple yourself. If the time doesn't match, it won't trigger."

"But you're currently infected, Lao Lu, you need to be careful."

"Based on our past data, a perfectly round apple will appear on your dining table between 9 and 10 pm tonight. If you don't follow the rules of this urban legend to resolve the issue, it will automatically fail by midnight, and you will still be unlucky."

"However, you can break the mirror then, but the midnight apple-peeling event will still trigger the next day, and the second urban legend will also begin to trigger. In other words, you will be facing two urban legends at the same time."

"So I have to peel apples tonight? And I can't peel them all the way through." Lu Li confirmed.

"That's right." Pan Shuai nodded. "We've come here to take you to meet a master chef. That master has been studying pastry for over fifty years and was once a big shot who worked on state banquets."

"He is especially good at peeling fruits and vegetables, and even in the island nation, he is known as the 'Peeling Master'."

Lu Li: "..."

"Rice Cooking Master" and "Sushi Master" are outrageous enough, but now they've given me a "Peeling Master" too?

If someone has a lot of casual sex, can they also be called a "casual sex master"?

If someone does a lot of DIY, could they also be called a "masturbation master" or a "self-generating master"?

"Forget it, last-minute cramming is useless. I have a better plan."

Seeing that Lu Li wasn't nervous at all, Pan Shuai and the other two felt relieved but also a little curious. "What are you planning to do?"

Pan Shuai suddenly realized, "Could it be that Lao Lu, you're actually a hidden master-level pastry chef?"

"Do you even believe that yourself?" Lu Li ignored him. "Watch what I do."

He took out his phone and bought something online, then chose a local express delivery service.

It should be delivered in about half an hour.

Pan Shuai asked, a little puzzled, "Old Lu, what did you buy?"

Lu Li glanced at the three of them and smiled slightly, "The internet-famous apple-peeling gadget."

Pan Shuai, Hao Liang, and Luo Hao: "???"

............

Four hours later, the four of them went out for a meal (they had receipts, and the Super Spirit Bureau would reimburse them), and then went to the supermarket and bought two boxes of apples (they would also be reimbursed).

By this time, the apple-peeling gadget had already been delivered.

This apple peeler bears a striking resemblance to a pencil sharpener.

The base of this thing is made of plastic, and there are four feet with suction cups on the bottom of the base.

The base has a rotating tray, and on the other side is a handle that looks just like a pencil sharpener.

A peeler is fixed on the tray, and three thin iron needles are connected to the other end of the handle.

"Come on, watch me do it."

Lu Li took out an apple and then inserted the bottom horizontally into the fixing pin.

Then quickly turn the crank handle.

The apple peel was done in about five seconds.

Moreover, it's a perfectly long strip, without any breaks!

Lu Li turned around, spread her small hands, smiled, and remained silent.

Pan Shuai, Hao Liang, and Luo Hao looked at each other in bewilderment.

They suddenly felt a sense of defeat, as if their intelligence had been crushed, followed by a feeling of shame and embarrassment that made them want to disappear.

Especially the pile of stuff next to Lu Li, paired with his shrug, spread hands, innocent yet teasing expression, was incredibly sarcastic!

And it was a silent mockery!

Although Lu Li didn't speak, his expression and actions seemed to say...

"this one?"

"I think your state-owned enterprises are a bit outdated. Modern society requires modern thinking. What is the strongest thing about us humans? Tools! And the mindset to create and use tools!"

Lu Li, taking advantage of the situation, launched into a barrage of sarcastic remarks, "Why don't you write a complaint letter? I feel that while your leader may not be exactly upright and honest, he's certainly been holding a position without doing his job."

"Actually, our firearms and body armor have all been modernized and combined with supernatural abilities..."

Pan Shuai's rebuttal seemed rather weak.

He's right, but they're clearly too focused on high technology.

They really hadn't considered Lu Li's simplistic way of thinking.

"Alright, you guys go back to what you were doing and go back to figure out what to do about tomorrow's urban legend."

Lu Li turned back to continue peeling the apple. "I need to practice this afternoon. Let's meet again tonight."

Pan Shuai and the other two exchanged glances, then nodded to Lu Li, "Lu Li, keep an eye on yourself. We'll go back and see if there's any new information. See you tonight."

"Bye-Bye."

Lu Li didn't turn his head back.

He's become obsessed with peeling apples.

This apple peeler... I must say, it's quite stress-relieving.

............

Before I knew it, it was 11:55 p.m.

Lu Li and his three companions were ready for battle.

The entire building has been evacuated, and now there are only the four of them in the house.

But there were police and armed police guarding the outside of this residential building.

The residential buildings are also full of off-duty employees of the Super Spirit Bureau.

"Old Lu, are you ready?"

Lu Li did not answer.

He simply sat down at the dining table, facing the mirror on the table, and stuck the round apple that had suddenly appeared an hour earlier into the peeler.

When the time came to 11:59, he turned around and smiled, "This strike has the power of fifty years of skill."

Then, with three seconds left until midnight, he quickly turned the crank.

Before Pan Shuai and the other two could react, or even just as they were about to criticize his statement, he had already finished sharing.

The entire apple peel was perfectly peeled out.

All three of them were stunned.

That's way too fast!

Meanwhile, it was midnight.

Lu Li sat in the chair, staring blankly at the mirror.

Pan Shuai was a little anxious. "Old Lu! What's going on?"

It must have been a success!

He wanted to go over and remove the mirror.

"Don't move! I haven't had enough of looking yet!" Lu Li waved him aside. "This girl... she's quite pretty..."

Yes, a young woman's reflection did appear in the mirror.

This young lady has striking, deep-set features, long, milky-white hair that reaches her waist, and a pair of dreamy pink eyes that are locked in a close gaze with Lu Li.

This is a woman whose beauty is no less than that of Miss Bai and Miss Luo!

Moreover, she was wearing a white ancient mourning dress!

Lu Li admitted that he was already thinking about getting a third marriage certificate.