Chapter 44
The Fall of Self
The Fifth Age.
Xia Er suddenly woke up from his dream, rubbing his arm uncomfortably as a small layer of bumps appeared.
Those were like real experiences—no, they were real!
A strong sense of astonishment welled up within him; he had actually been forcibly pushed?
After pushing her, she wasn't satisfied, so she dragged herself up again, claiming to be guiding her in battle, and beat herself until her bones were soft and she had exhausted all her strength, and then she wanted to be her body pillow.
Do we have to continue on the second day?
What kind of hell on earth is this?
Ha~ha~
In the darkness, Xia Er let out a somewhat suppressed and muffled laugh.
Is this what the audience is like?
He saw through everything.
Goshinam did everything that Chael wanted to do, everything that Chael struggled with, repressed, and longed for.
Why does Shael insist on staying in the elven settlement? Why does he insist on joining the Church of the Night? Isn't it to restrain himself?
He consumed so many extraordinary substances, he didn't trust himself. He longed to kill, to mate, to unleash his desires and madness.
What is he thinking?
He slept with Sauron after just one trip out.
When he killed the Storm Church's Aquaman, every cell in his body was leaping with joy.
"I can't even fool myself, so who else can I fool?"
As Xia Er spoke, his aura turned cold, and a ferocious look appeared on his face.
Doesn't he want to sleep with the Elf Queen?
miss you.
Why do people feel so ashamed and angry after their thoughts are exposed?
Because she was the widow of the Elf King, the Queen of the Elf race, how could he possibly have the face to face Goshinam after accepting her help and harboring such dark thoughts!
How could he not be ashamed!
......
The Fourth Age.
Xia Er looked at Goshinam, who was holding her, with a complicated expression.
The tyrannical, dark, cruel, and all kinds of desires have been vented.
Although it seems the other party vented their anger more fiercely.
He didn't even have the strength to move a finger.
"I said goodbye to myself."
"Chael said to himself."
"Every ancient god, or rather, every god, basically came from this path."
"The more powerful you are, the more insane you become. If you don't vent it, are you going to drive yourself crazy?"
"Gohinam leaned lazily against Xia'er and said."
She had heard Chael talk about role-playing, but wasn't that a way to vent?
Isn't playing the role of a natural disaster a way to vent one's destructive desires?
"This is just the beginning."
"My willpower is just that weak. If you indulge me once, I will indulge myself countless times."
"I can accept indecisiveness, but I don't want to deceive myself."
Chael knew very well that good people cannot have blemishes. If he was not a good person, but a degenerate, then no one could use those blemishes to condemn him, not even himself.
"over thinking."
"Haven't you had enough? I'll satisfy you now."
Gohchinam rolled his eyes and climbed back on top.
Chael's contemplation of philosophy, human nature, and life was interrupted.
A hint of fear flashed in his eyes.
"Get out of my way!"
Shael shoved Goshinam hard. Bullshit! He needs to be disciplined! He needs to be disciplined!
"Don't you want to stop deceiving yourself?"
"You want more, don't you?"
"You're smiling so happily."
Goshinam's eyes seemed to be gathering thunderclouds. She raised her hand and waved her hand, and the lights in the palace went out again. Thunder roared like war drums.
......
The Fifth Age.
The light in Chael's eyes flickered like a candle flame in the wind.
He couldn't sleep.
Can this damn mental connection just be severed?!
Can we live separately and each go our own way?
In Steve's memories, those moments of unbridled indulgence have become mundane.
Xia Er even felt that the technique was quite crude.
"Plain lust, without the added element of immorality, seems to be just that, nothing special."
"I think to myself," said Xia'er.
As a cryptic person, he confronted his fallen nature for the first time.
"Simply indulging in sexual desire or killing is just indulgence."
"Only what makes people struggle, what makes people yearn, what makes people resist, what makes people conflicted, what makes people suffer, and what makes people excited is depravity."
Xia Er smiled and said that his inner depravity must be extremely filthy, so how could he be so pathetic?
If you can't sleep, then go out and have some fun.
Who doesn't sleep at night?
A faint light flashed, and his figure vanished.
Backland Docklands.
Chael floated in the air, conjuring an ice spear in his hand, and threw it at the undead running ahead.
boom!
A corpse controlled by Maric blocked the attack for him, its limbs covered by the power of frost, becoming stiff and sluggish.
Xia Er reached out and twisted the straggling corpse into a ball, then casually tossed it towards the ditch not far away.
"You temperance people, you can really run."
He observed the surrounding spirit world environment, his figure blurred again, and he leaped through the mirror surface to approach once more.
Suddenly, a huge skull appeared in his path.
Malice surged in Xia'er's eyes. The skeleton blocking his path was torn apart by two sinister ghostly hands and returned to the spirit world with a wail.
He looked into the void ahead, where there was a phantom figure with pale gold hair, azure eyes, wearing a deep black Gothic court dress and a small black soft hat.
"Sharon, I've been chasing you for so long, aren't you going to give me a response?"
Xia Er stopped paying attention to Marich and instead gripped Sharon's hand, sending strands of resentment coiling around her.
He's not popular; there's only one girl he can hook up with at night.
Sharon glanced at Shael, said nothing, and leaped away in another direction.
"Is it possible that I'm just bluffing?"
With a flick of his crimson cloak, Chael vanished from sight.
......
the next morning.
Chael enjoyed her breakfast in a good mood.
Sharon and I went for a drive around the dock area last night, which was quite fun.
For a moment, he was reluctant to shed the identity of the Rose School.
If we can't sleep at night, we go and capture Sharon, and we all pretend to be vengeful spirits.
After breakfast, Bishop Elektra came to visit.
"Maynard, the church has completed its review of you. Come with me to St. Samuel's Cathedral. After you meet with Archbishop Anthony, you can officially begin your service."
Bishop Elektra brought good news.
"Really?"
"But the Secret Prayer Person..."
Chael asked Martin to go out and arrange the carriage, then looked somewhat uneasy, as if trying to remind the bishop that he had mental problems and could not go out on fieldwork, so he could only stay in the office.
"You haven't gone through the stage of listening yet; you haven't been corrupted."
"The church will not abandon any devout believer in the goddess."
Bishop Elektra offered gentle words of comfort.
The Mystic People are indeed a problem, but given Shael's identity, he cannot be treated like an ordinary wild extraordinary being, nor can he be left unattended. Therefore, Shael will definitely have to join the church, which is also a form of supervision and protection.